http://www.markpneyer.com/wp/2009/08/13/a-mathematical-model-of-happiness/

By the numbers, I don’t think so!

I’ve compiled annual reports and statistics; this week  I am figuring budget cuts and real-life budget woes with a spouse laid-off…is this the measure of my work and my life? I don’t think so.

My annual report at work didn’t really tell the story. The statistics (compiled, configured and calculated every which way!) seem, well, delusional.  I usually find beauty in numbers, formulas and graphs; but, faith in numbers, and much else, eludes me this summer.

I was directed to an article detailing a study on  academic Libraries and their ROI (return on investment.) From the story, ”ROI is one tool for measuring and demonstrating the value of the library,” I’m not sure many people know what ROI is and just how would we measure it?  I know that I did not mention ROI in my annual report. But again, the whole report detailed who we serve and how we serve them…with instruction, resources and reference.

What is the return on investment of a day, of a job, of a life? Can numbers even begin to tell the story? I don’t think so.

How do you measure job satisfaction? How do you measure friendship? How do you measure love?  I celebrated a birthday last month and am now obsessed by these bad middle years. I live in the DC area and have been devastated by the heat and the commuting…so many days over 90 degrees, the hottest month in history, the longest and maybe worst summer of my life!

Yet, in this hard summer there have been visits from good friends and family;  I’ve heard beautiful music outdoors; I picnic-ed with nieces and nephews; I spent time with my sons; I was soundly beaten at Boggle by my darling daughter-in-law. I spend lots of time watching the man I love struggle –  I admire his fortitude and good humor. I have lost my fortitude…if you see  it, please return it!

What is the measure? Drops, buckets, or oceans of anxiety? Comments, columns or rants from every media direction on any subject you choose? Giggles, chuckles or guffaws at the plans we make and find thwarted at every turn? All of the above… and more.

This summer doesn’t tell the story of my life. I will continue to just do good work, hold his hand and look for moments of grace. As for measuring…being here, being there, being in the moment is my only measure.

(I can hear you rolling your eyes at me and my too many ellipses, my son!)

So, after the “King James” debacle last night – poor, poor Cleveland; and yet another blow to Ohio – I’m thinking about the meaning of loyalty. [BTW I hope Dan Gilbert's Open letter to fans comes to pass. I love  irony.]

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Deadly_Sins#Catholic_Seven_Virtues

So, loyalty… according to wikipedia it is not a virtue, at least not in the original Latin, nor in the Catholic lexicon. I, of course, consulted my favorite source, the Oxford English Dictionary ,  which gently reminded me that loyalty was to oneself (one’s promise, oath, word of honour; faithfulness, fidelity) , or to one’s country (to the sovereign or lawful government.) I needed that reminder – loyalty need not be to one’s employer or employee, nor to a team, nor to a city, I guess. But, I hasten to note the obvious,  that loyalty to a spouse is implied as we promise fidelity!

I have been a Detroit Tigers Fan all my life. I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit and as the oldest daughter of a Dad with three daughters (poor man!) My earliest memories were of listening to the Detroit Tigers play – on the radio. Some of my best times with my Dad were at Tigers games. We often fondly remembered the 1971 All Star game at Tiger Stadium when we saw Reggie Jackson, Hank Aaron and Roberto Clemente play. When I moved to upstate NY after marrying, I likened my attendance at the Rochester Red Wings AAA ball games to adultery – the Rochester team was the farm team of fierce Detroit Tiger rivals the Baltimore Orioles. I felt disloyal just sitting in the stands.

I again am watching loved ones struggle with being laid off – and the mental and emotional challenge of where loyalties lie.

Loyalty may not be a virtue, but it adds depth and meaning and connection to our existence. We are less human for the lack of loyalty in today’s world.

Wait till October! Go get 'em, Tigers!

Nomenclature for non-Librarians reading this blog:

ALA is the acronym for American Library Association
ACRL – Association of College and Research Libraries, division of ALA
LITA – Library and Information Technology
YALSA – Young Adult Library Services Association
AASL – American Association of School Librarians

2010 ALA Annual Conference in Washington DC – WOW…that was a big – hot – conference [25,444 attendess and temperatures seldom below 95 degrees for the 6 day conference.]  Here is where you will get all the  “good stuff” links wise. I guess you had to be there to actually get the good stuff if the multiple bulging bags of books and the lines in the mail/shipping  center were any indication of getting good stuff. The exhibition area was huge, unwieldly and like another planet without basic provisions like food and water and coffee!  I navigated with due caution (and probably missed out on lots of good stuff – fondly known in Librarian parlance as “swag”. ) I never learned how to do swag in Library school. By Monday afternoon, after attending an author “tea” I did figure out that if I stood in the hall after the talks the publisher reps just handed me books – then I got them signed and I will give them away to deserving homes – after I read them!

It looked to me – a “newbie” first time attender – like the conference was many things to many people. Will Manley saw it this way – book people and machine people.

It was an organizational meeting grounds. I spoke with other Librarians who attended and were on ALA committees and they used much of the times attending ALA meetings. I did sit in on the YALSA  Best Fiction for Young Adults meeting and realized… ah ha, that’s how they pick the best books lists.

The conference was a showcase for best practices in libraries – but I have to say I was somewhat dismayed by most of the Librarians presentation styles. Bad powerpoints abounded. I tried to stick with my division of ALA – ACRL; but, discovered the LITA presentations had much more thought,  content and presentation panache. [More on the best, most thoughtful session of ALA DC 2010 Top Tech Trends soon.] Some intrepid Librarians know that presenting the  message is important and they practice with hilarity at Battledecks!

Be inspired at your conference, seemed to be another theme for me at the ALA Conference. I caught some (but unfortunately, not all) of the big name speakers. Toni Morrison spoke Saturday evening and was quietly eloquent. I did get to hear Mr. Eppo van Nispen tot Sevenaer (Director of DOK Delft – The Most Modern Library in the World) and so appreciated his F^5 approach to design and services. [Stay tuned and I will link my presentation describing this – here, soon] See him  at  TedxRotterdam 2010 here.

I was reminded everywhere during the conference…  Libraries are all about FREEDOM and DEMOCRACY! Librarians are teachers -all the time- and information literacy is a challenge and a calling. But, I always knew that Libraries are all about READING!

And though I attended sessions on Mobile Reference, eBooks, Marketing your Library services, and Tech Trends, as well as, talking and networking with our vendors like a good academic librarian should – I loved the time I got to spend with the authors and editors who were so eloquent and passionate about their books and reading.

Don’t forget Libraries are all about READING!

“There is nothing more beautiful than a beautiful story.”  (Eppo’s father!) ALA DC 2010 was the story of Libraries in all their organizations, contradictions, beauty and necessity.

Thanks to PBS for this widget

I am so NOT good at this. Is it just me? Or, are all of my fellow country men and women having trouble embracing uncertainty?  It seems to me that I and others are retreating into the cave, afraid of the future. That is just so un-American. As people are treated as commodities in their work lives and no employer seemingly can be trusted, we are losing our confidence in the future to uncertainty.

I wonder if this is a generational feeling. I was brought up to “do good work” as my dues for a life in America and my down payment as a human being to the future. I take pride in my work and have sought to do a job that adds to peoples’ lives – first, in Engineering to build a better future; and now, through Librarianship and teaching and service. I want to live – as one of my favorite authors  Diana Gabaldon writes  -   an “eminently useful life.” I thought by doing good work, in service to others and the future, that I was “of value.”

But, I am watching so many of my peers and beloved family members struggling with work – downsizing and layoffs – and what that does to a person’s belief in themselves and the future. What truly does make a life of value? And where and how much should we invest in work?

Broadway reminds us that life may not be measured in work… the Broadway musical Rent says, “measure your life in Love.”  La Cage Aux Folles reminds us that the “best of times is now, so live and love as hard as you know how!” And my favorite, Les Miserables (Ah, the irony of such a metaphor in such a time as this!) always comforts me as I remember that “to love another person is to see the face of God.”

The book I am gifting this summer – The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha – short essays on the really awesome things in life remind me that it isn’t the big things that make you happy. It is the little things (and the “small people”), like real letters in the mail, warm towels, crying and laughing that truly makes people happy.  It is just too scary to look at the big picture right now, so concentrate on and count your blessings. But, I feel that the times I live in call for more from me.

We watch that d%!* oil leak in real time and are faced with our own failure. It is the failure of technology, the failure of conservation and, most importantly, the failure to provide a better future for coming generations, a “mortal hemorrage.” On a gut level, we know that we are failing the earth. We are more connected to the earth than our daily lives seem, especially those of us that live in urban, heavily populated places. We need to look at the big picture and make some big changes.

Maybe instead of embracing uncertainty – we need to grapple with it. Know any good wrestling holds that work?

David Brooks always makes me think…today’s column American Power Act is no exception.

When you read that history, you’re reminded that large efforts are generally plagued by stupidity, error and corruption. But by the sheer act of stumbling forward, it’s possible, sometimes, to achieve important things.

This whole academic year has been me “stumbling forward.”  I will need to reflect more on whether or not anything has been achieved.

I think April’s big question is…will this semester ever end? But, others think April’s big question is:

Isn’t this an ever-expanding universe of tech goodies? Will we be forced to chase hot tools and social platforms to stay competitive? How the heck are we supposed to stay up to speed on all the latest stuff and be successful using it personally and professionally?

How do we keep up?

I like new technology tools. I love getting my “news feeds” from twitter. Have you seen Neil deGrasse Tyson’s tweets on aliens? They makes me smile! So, we all learn and use technology tools to “keep up.”  My newest tool is  Prezi – I learned it works better in Firefox than in IE; and, if you put in graphics, they need to be very high quality to project well. I also learned about QR codes, but am still figuring out which is the best software to use on my phone to read all QR codes. All QR creator sites are not created equally good.  So, yes, I use technology tools to keep up.

But, as it is the end of the semester here at the Catholic University of America, and the end of my first academic year on the job. I need to find time to reflect about what worked this year…and what didn’t. To learn my new job I’ve read management books, built LibGuides, “selected” for subject areas, kept track of seven subject budgets and two  staff budgets, all the while, still learning how to commute. And I’m thinking, maybe – every now and then – I need to step back to keep up.

It was kismet then today when I read a lecture [delivered to the plebe class at the United States Military Academy at West Point in October of last year reprinted in theAmericanScholar.org Spring 2010] by William Deresiewicz (essayist and critic) on Solitude and Leadership: If you want others to follow, learn to be alone with your thoughts .

So it’s perfectly natural to have doubts, or questions, or even just difficulties. The question is, what do you do with them? Do you suppress them, do you distract yourself from them, do you pretend they don’t exist? Or do you confront them directly, honestly, courageously? If you decide to do so, you will find that the answers to these dilemmas are not to be found on Twitter or Comedy Central or even in The New York Times. They can only be found within—without distractions, without peer pressure, in solitude.

It reminded me of the Thomas Merton quote that I have always loved and think of often:

“It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers. The more solitary I am the more affection I have for them…. Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not for what they say.”

Deresiewicz talks about the new technology tools – and why reading books is better than reading tweets. [Though I love the heavenly irony that I found this lecture through a tweet.] When  he rhapsodizes about the importance of solitude and friendship… well, I am still reflecting about why this speaks to me…but it does!  Read the whole essay…and then reflect about it for a while.

On tweets and books…

So why is reading books any better than reading tweets or wall posts? Well, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes, you need to put down your book, if only to think about what you’re reading, what you think about what you’re reading. But a book has two advantages over a tweet. First, the person who wrote it thought about it a lot more carefully. The book is the result of his solitude, his attempt to think for himself.

Second, most books are old. This is not a disadvantage: this is precisely what makes them valuable. They stand against the conventional wisdom of today simply because they’re not from today. Even if they merely reflect the conventional wisdom of their own day, they say something different from what you hear all the time. But the great books, the ones you find on a syllabus, the ones people have continued to read, don’t reflect the conventional wisdom of their day. They say things that have the permanent power to disrupt our habits of thought. They were revolutionary in their own time, and they are still revolutionary today. And when I say “revolutionary,” I am deliberately evoking the American Revolution, because it was a result of precisely this kind of independent thinking. Without solitude—the solitude of Adams and Jefferson and Hamilton and Madison and Thomas Paine—there would be no America.

On solitude and friendship…

So solitude can mean introspection, it can mean the concentration of focused work, and it can mean sustained reading. All of these help you to know yourself better. But there’s one more thing I’m going to include as a form of solitude, and it will seem counterintuitive: friendship. Of course friendship is the opposite of solitude; it means being with other people. But I’m talking about one kind of friendship in particular, the deep friendship of intimate conversation. Long, uninterrupted talk with one other person. Not Skyping with three people and texting with two others at the same time while you hang out in a friend’s room listening to music and studying. That’s what Emerson meant when he said that “the soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into a grander self-acquaintance or solitude.”

And, in this reflective mode I have checked out the book Thoughts in Solitude by Thomas Merton and will leave you with his prayer [because I often have no idea where I am going] as I reflect and hope, as my friend Adele says, that the big guy/gal is indeed pleased.

I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. - from “Thoughts in Solitude” by Thomas Merton

I’m now following David Ferriero [dferriero] on Twitter. I’ll add his blog AOTUS: Collector in Chief to my RSS feeds. Dr. Ferriero, Archivist of the US, was interviewed by Paul Holdengraber [no lightwieght, himself - Director of Public Programs at the New York Public Library(known as "LIVE from the NYPL"] as the keynote activity at today’s CiL2010 Conference. Holdengraber teased Ferriero, describing him as the “most powerful librarian.”

Dr. Ferriero noted, “It’s nice having a boss down the street, but not in your face.” But Dr. Ferriero has his orders – as in  Executive Orders signed by his boss, Barack Obama – the Open Government Initiative where every Feredal Agency will demonstrate transparency, collaboration and participation; and the Classified National Security Information which will attempt to de-classify over 400 million documents. “You can’t have open government if you don’t have good records.”

Dr. Ferriero outlined  two main goals of his job. 1) To improve the quality of workplace for employees of the National Archives (I think he mentioned in 42 locations around the US); and 2) To “open up the archives” with robust education programs, content rich web sites for K-12 education and new exhibits to encourage kids (of all ages) to be excited about records and encourage all Americans to be “Citizen Archivists.”

I applaud his passion for records and the freedom implied in open information. He lives the  National Archives mantra “Democracy Starts Here.” I was also impressed by his managerial vision which “recognizes the value in every piece of the job employees do that bring value to the agency.”

Best interview question this morning – what keeps Dr. Ferriero up at night – electronic records management  which is the largest, messiest and most expensive challenge. And to be fair , his greatest joy is working with the staff of the National Archives and “great records.” Dr. Ferriero charmed the audience this morning when he shared his current reading, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith and Now the Drum of War: Walt Whitman and His Brothers in the Civil War by Robert Roper. We should ask every presenter what they are currently reading!

See this interview streamed live at  CiLlive on USTREAM.

You can listen to a Dr. Ferriero lecture Are We Losing Our Memory? The View from the National Archives presented at Duke University Provost Lecture Series. [Hear Audio of Dr. Ferriero’s Presentation Here.]

Other ideas from today…

Critical Thinking for Decision Making with Rebecca Jones and Deb Wallace (HBS)

WOW (not WoW)! See this very huge project  presented as Reference for a Digital World, but was realy VoIP and SKYPE Reference Service. Talk about vision! Thanks, Jan Dawson.

Lori Reed and eLearning tools.

Crafting Online Personas with Craig J. Anderson, Reference Librarian, Kean University and JP Porcaro, Virtual Services Librarian, New Jersey City University – Can library staff create a professional online persona without adopting a new, secret identity? Jury is still out – but these guys suggest branding yourself, controlling the message and, oh yeah, filter! But, maybe, being a responsible librarian means showing up and being where your users are. See their blog.

Great April 13 blog post on WoW [World of Warcraft] session later in the day. Thanks libraryguy!

Libraries and Transliteracy at Computers in Libraries #cil2010

I’m still thinking about  Chad Mairn’s presentation on Information Fluency Strategies – very cool use of twitter posts in powerpoint presentation. I need to learn how to do that.

I missed this one yesterday  Gen X Librarians: Leading From the Middle.

For those of you not at Computers in Libraries 2010 see John Kennerly’s post  “Going to the Conference without being there.”

And just for fun… Free Lookups.

Creative Commons http://www.flickr.com/photos/hdude/2575132072/

Is it spring? [90 degrees for two days now – I think we went straight to summer here in the DC area!] Is that why students, faculty and librarians are all stressed? You’d think the cherry blossoms and flip flops would help, wouldn’t you?  No – stress is running high and so that makes it hard to think or write coherently. So, rather incoherently, here are just a few things I’ve been meaning to blog about.

I’ve been reading, thinking and writing about communicating science. Lots of new books on the problematical topic. [Link to reviews - coming soon here!]

I DO NOT AGREE (in part) with this book review by  Pagan Kennedy. She reviewed This Book is Overdue: How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All By Marilyn Johnson in the New York Times in March 2010. She says of Johnson  – “It is a testament to her skill as a writer that she remains fascinating, even in the throes of A.D.D.” I’m not sure about the  A.D.D. allusion – but being a Librarian these days is a lot like your brain on a pinball machine. I careen from subject to subject – much like Johnson did in her book. Ping…Budgets, student worker schedules, vendor meetings, reference questions on cost estimating and heat pipes, web casts on data visualization!  Ping! Ping! Ping! (Not to mention careening physically, building to building – Ping…Engineering Library, Nursing Library, Physics Library, and Main Library.) I loved this book. It affirmed the chaotic nature of being a Librarian today. Reading this book made me dance off the train in jubilation (OK – I hate commuting – and I usually can’t read on the train because I miss my stops, but really, I wanted to dance!) Someone understood just what my day to day job was like and wrote about it with passion and compassion. Johnson waxes poetic about the saving grace of reading – I sing hallelujah. I am a Librarian and my life and career in its many forms is as chaotic as Johnson’s book, but with great meaning and purpose. Kennedy concedes at the end of her review in Johnson’s own words that librarians are “waging the holy battle to resurrect the entire world, over and over again, in its entirety — keeping every last tidbit safe and acid free.”

I’ve been all tied up in mind knots about … Informatics, Bioinformatics, Biomedical Informatics – yes, all different, but part of what is coming in this chaotic world of Biomedical Engineering, Nursing and Library Science. Is it Biology? Is it Computer Science? Is it Health Care? All of the above! Is it information and do Librarians need to be part of the conversation – YES! It is Computational Biology (according to the  National Library of Medicine) and will, in the end, dictate and inform EHR [Electronic Health Records), yours and mine.

In the meantime – while careening -  I was reminded today of the very best part about being a Librarian – helping people find stuff. I worked the reference desk tonight and I did find stuff – electronically and physically in the layers of stacks. I answered a call from an alumni Physicist in CA and helped him find an article; Heidegger on Nietzsche in German and English – found it; Opera lyrics – done! Books on terrorism – to the stacks!

I’m a Librarian and I help people find stuff .

I’ve been reading Dick Francis novels all my life. Today Dick Francis died and I feel like I’ve lost a friend and a source of daily ordinary wisdom.

I first “met” Dick Francis in a Reader’s Digest Condensed Book. These books were staples at my Aunt Marcella’s house in Grand Rapids MI. My Dad was her ”second son” nephew  and through him she loved all of us! And we were better for her love and her zest for life. She played a mean game of “31”  and loved to read! Our twice yearly family visits to he house are cherished memories. She shared all of her books with us and often sent me home with her lightly used volumes of Reader’s Digest Condensed Books. I met many authors – before formal academic reading of them – through these books. Authors who have shaped my adult reading pleasures in mystery, politics, historical fiction, biography and romance… Victoria Holt,  Helen MacIness, Mary Stewart, Fletcher Knebel, Pearl S. Buck, Ernest K. Gann, Morris West, Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, James Michener, Arthur Hailey, Irving Wallace, and Taylor Caldwell.  I looked it up (that’s what we librarian’s do!) and the first Dick Francis story I read (I might have been 11) was Nerve – published in the Spring 1964 volume.

Yes, I am aware of the “mystery” of Dick Francis novels. Some have said his wife Mary actually wrote the books. His latest novels since his wife died have been openly co-authored with his son Felix. I do believe that the novels contain the essence of the man Dick Francis. Read his autobiography. And read his books even if you don’t like horse racing!

When I discuss reading with others, I always ask if they have read Dick Francis. If they have…I know they are a friend. How lucky was I that my favorite Mother-in-law, Gladys belonged to the Book of the Month Club and so always had the  latest Dick Francis title for me to read – after she did, of course.

This self-contained world was, of course, a reflection of a broader universe in which themes of winning and losing and courage and integrity have more sweeping meaning. As the critic John Leonard wrote, “Not to read Dick Francis because you don’t like horses is like not reading Dostoyevsky because you don’t like God.”

After the death in 2000 of Mary Francis, his wife of 53 years and a close collaborator on his books, Mr. Francis expressed doubts that he would ever write another novel. “She was the moving force behind my writing,” he said. “I don’t think I shall write again other than letters now. So much of my work was her.” http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/15/books/15francis.html?pagewanted=1

He would prefer, he sometimes said, to be remembered as a jockey than as a writer, but then admitted wryly that, if it were so, he would be remembered only as the man whose horse stopped in the Grand National. Instead of which, millions of people, all over the world, are grateful for the pleasure he gave with his robust but not unsubtle, and in their way morally invigorating, tales. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/obituaries/article7026693.ece

Gene Hawkins, Tony Snow and Derek Franklin are friends of mine. I have met these characters  in Dick Francis novels and they walk with me. I , too, wonder  how to go on and fight depression as Gene Hawkins did in Blood Sport. Tony Snow, wine seller and quiet hero of Proof,  feels his lack of courage, yet his perseverance in daily life  after his wife and unborn baby die is heartfelt and inspiring. In Straight, Derek Franklin prays his brother Greville’s  prayer to find wisdom:

May I deal with honor.

May I act with courage.

May I achieve humility.

Has a book ever turned on you? It begins one way – with beautiful langauge and a simple character with a small life. Then, unexpectedly, it turns on you and becomes a different story, not so simple and oh, so not what you thought it was. The power of words that our main character Bolsover believe will bring order out of chaos do nothing of the kind. But the words in By Chance linger.

Culpability, identity, morality, and luck–all these play a part in a story that echoes our own lives.

By Chance: A Nove by Martin Corrick